Pregnancy Update

I know I say this at the beginning of every blog, but HOLY.MOLY. I am a horrible blogger. My last post was on December 10? Sheesh. It's almost been a year and so much to catch up on!

Jon and I found out we were pregnant on Sunday, June 3. It feels like yesterday. I felt funny that weekend. Finally, on Sunday afternoon, I told Jon I was going to buy a pregnancy test. He thought I might be jumping the gun a little bit, but told me to go ahead if it would put my mind at ease. I went in to the bathroom, came back out, and it wasn't a minute later that the little test read "Pregnant." I looked up at Jon who was very cozily laying on the couch, and just instantly burst into tears. He thought I was crying because the test was negative. I couldn't get out the words until he saw for himself. WOW. Are you sure? Is this thing for real? Seriously??? I took the other test for safe measure, and low and behold, that one said pregnant too!!!! Here.we.go.again.

I called my family, and my mom thought I had gotten into a car accident. She and I both screamed and cried. Jon called his family and they were very excited for us. I can't believe this is happening.again. I can't go through what I went through before. I can't. Jon was OVER THE MOON excited. It took me a little while to get excited, but I finally got there. We are going to be parents! Watch out world!!!

Before every Dr's appointment, I get nervous and the tears come. I just can't help it. My fabulous husband always calms me down before we leave and let's me know everything is ok and reminds me we get to see the baby today. He's going to be such a good Daddy.

We found out we are having a girl, and we are OVER THE MOON excited!!! A little baby girl! I like to call her my mini me. Jon jokes that she's going to be my little best friend. I can't wait to dress her up in dresses, and sparkley shoes and lots and lots of bows. The bigger the bow, the better! Jon and I decided on baby names I think before we were ever engaged. If it was a girl, we decided we were going to name her Ila Faye, after my grandmother. My Granny meant the absolute world to me. To be carrying on her maiden name, Embree, is an honor in itself. So, Jon and I decided that the perfect girl name would be Ila Faye Maxfield. We both knew that when we were blessed with a little girl, and having her name be Ila, we were in for a ride! She's going to be a ring tail tooter, but with a name like Ila, how could you not be?

So, we've made it to 25 weeks. A part of me thinks WOW! I'm 25 weeks already??  The other part of me thinks, holy.schmoly. I'm only 25 weeks??? These weeks have spun by, some seem to go faster than others, but that's just life. When we found out in June that we were due in February, I thought...there isn't any way I can possibly be pregnant that long!!! But, next week starts November, and February will be here before we know it! My pregnancy has gone okay for the most part. I have the typical all day sickness in my first trimester, felt pretty good all through out my second trimester. Now that I'm getting near the end my 2nd trimester and about to begin my third, things are getting a little cramped in my tummy, but that just reminds me that sweet Baby Ila is growing in there. It takes me a little longer to get up and get around. I have aches in places that I didn't know could ache. BUT, I'm definitely not complaining. I'm grateful and so excited that I'm finally pregnant and we are going to be parents!

I promise to keep my blog more up to date. It will get a little more exciting to read about someone else besides me and Jon! Stay tuned! :)

Things to be Thankful for...a little late..

So, I have been a horrible blogger. So many of my friends putting me to shame. Things have been so crazy in our household that finally this weekend, we finally found time to do NOTHING. ;) I took a two hour nap on the couch. It was fabulous.

Words can't describe how happy we are. Jon has finally found his element, and he's rockin' and rollin'!It's so fun for him to come home and hear about his day. I am becoming quite the expert in aviation and jet cards. :)

I love my new job! I have been working for the Boys & Girls Clubs of Metro Denver, and been helping out in the office. Still working with a cause that is near and dear to my heart, but not actually interacting with the kids. So hard for me. I can not get attached to those kids and have to leave them. Not saying I'm leaving anytime soon, but leaving my students and employees was so hard. Cant do that again.  I am mentoring some members for the annual Youth of the Year Competion, which is a big deal. It's so much fun being back in the clubs again. I kinda just took over during our first meeting. OOOPS! I have to remember I'm just a volunteer. :)

Living in Lone Tree is absolutely fabulous!! It feels like home. It's a newer part of Denver, at least from what I have discovered, but, I've only been here for 6 months. It's so much fun waking up with snow every morning... But, makes this Texas girl a little nervous driving 21 miles to work in the ice and snow. I am now a pro at driving in the snow.  :)

Basically, things are great in Denver. My husband is a rockstar. Finally, a company that loves and appreciates him for his knowledge of aviation. When he comes home each night, he's proud of what he accomplished, and so am I.

We keep telling each other that we are waiting to wake up for this dream, because it's so crazy, so fun and so surreal. Is this really my life?? I love it. Bring it on.

We Made It!

We have made it through our first week of being "Denver-ites" as my husband so joyously thinks he coined the phrase. It's definitely been a transition!

The 15 hours in the car, a little over 800 miles, and you don't even want to know the amount $$$ spent on gas, we finally made it. The drive from Dallas to Amarillo was mundane, I could make that drive in my sleep. Leaving my parents and mother in law at the storage place is something I will never forget.Prissy left first, and I could see she had great big tears in her eyes, and still trying to remain composed. She gave Jon and I a bag of her world famous cookies for our drive. They were delicious! I gave my mom one last hug, of course tears streaming down our faces. The term 'cry me a river' doesn't even describe our last goodbyes. Then there was saying goodbye to my Dad. He held me so tight, told me he loved me, and when I stepped back from our hug, I saw a tear on my dad's shirt. I guess I didn't know how much this would affect him too.

The drive from Amarillo to Denver was exciting! Being on roads that I've never been, or at least never driven, was exciting. You know, making the drive from Dallas to Amarillo, you know exactly how much time is between each city. But on the way to Denver, I had no idea, so that made it that much more exciting! It's amazing how in just a few short hours, we went from flat...

To mountains and elevation!

Yes, those are the Rocky Mountains!

Daisy rode with me the whole way, and was such a trooper!

After the movers left on Saturday evening, and Jon came in and locked the door behind him, he sat and looked at what looked like boxes that just threw up in our living room, kitchen and patio...we both looked at each other with a smile, and said, "We are here!"

We still have some to do, but slowly making progress!

EEK!!

WOW. This is really going to happen. Jon came home three weeks ago tomorrow with this crazy idea of moving this Texas girl to Colorado. Move me away from my momma??? Everything I have ever known in my whole life?? YIKES. We did our due diligence. We talked and talked. Made a pro/con list of what would be more beneficial to us. Jon was presented with this awesome job opportunity, and we would really be stupid not to take it. Jon is SUCH a wonderful business man. (and I'm not biased one bit! :)) These people believe in Jon as much as I do. Jon can do this and be so successful in his career with this new opportunity. But MOVING?? eeek!!

Tomorrow, we start Monday - Friday being away from each other. For two and a half months. TWO.AND.A.HALF.MONTHS. When we live in the same place again, we will be living in Colorado. So scary! Only getting to see my husband for two and a quarter days each week is going to be hard. Not coming home and having my garage door opened already with him awaiting my arrival. Not having the welcome home hug and kiss and scratch on the back and asking about my day. Texts and emails will be plentiful, and will have to suffice for the time being. It really makes you realize what you have. Jon has told me time and time again that his #1 priority is making me happy, and this awesome opportunity is going to be wonderful for both of us. I'm sure I'll be blogging a WHOLE lot, I won't have anything else to do! :)

Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited about all this, but nervous, excited, scared...the idea of the 'unknown' is even scarier. I am flying out to Denver this weekend so I can get the grasp on where I will be calling 'home' in just a few months. I will keep you posted.

Thank you!

I'm horrible at blogging. I always think about about it, but I've been CRAZY. busy, so, my solution is...I'll do it later. My very good friend Kristen has put me to shame on blogging, so I guess it's time to bite the bullet and keep up with it!

Jon and I just celebrated our ONE YEAR anniversary. It's so crazy!! Everything we have been through this past year, and only knowing each other for three years makes it hard to believe we have only been married for ONE year. But it was AWESOME. We really had a great celebration. We went to the lakehouse, had a nice dinner, and sat on the porch drinking some great wine and looked at the stars. Perfect.

Let's see --  getting pregnant, having a miscarriage, three surgeries for me, a new job for Jon, a new job location for me, getting a nephew and a soon to be sister in law, and now deciding to move...needless to say, it's been a CrAzY year.

If I would have known everything I know now  -- three years ago -- when I met this private, very professional businessman fresh off a divorce, I STILL wouldn't change anything. Everything we have been together, the good, the bad, and the UGLY, has not only made me grow, but made me a better person. There is constant laughter in our house. It's mostly us just being stupid, silly, laughing at each other and ourselves. I told my mom a LONG time ago, that I want to marry a guy that when I wake up in the morning, you never know what the day is going to bring. There is always a mystery. You never know what's going to happen. I get that every.single.day with Jon. He and I snuggle in the morning and talk about our day. He is my #1 cheerleader. I talk to him about my Boys & Girls Club stuff and I hear him on the phone with his multi-million dollar clients being the very charismatic salesman he is (he works from home, and so do I in the mornings, so I get to hear these things). I always think, how can my job compare to his?? But, yet everyday when I come home, he wants to hear about my day and the kids I work with. How lucky am I??

So, thank you Jon Maxfield, for loving me unconditionally, being there to dry my tears, laugh with me, and fix my heart. I love you with all my heart and look forward to many more years with you. I know that we are never promised tomorrow, but thank you for yesterday and the day before that. I look forward to tomorrow, if we are given the day.

 If this year has been crazy, I can't wait to see what the next year brings. Thank you for being you and making me a better person inside and out.

It's been a year...

Chad and I have always been close. Being the little sister of two older brothers kinda makes you close -- whether you want to or not. He’s always been very protective of his little sister, and I have always been very protective of him. I grew up with two older brothers, but Chad and I were closer in age. So, that made my oldest brother Rob, even more protective, I think. Rob wanted nothing but the best for his little sister, and he made sure of it – no matter how many miles away he was. I love both my brothers with all my heart. I am the person I am because of them.


Chad moved to Lubbock in January of 2001. I love to tell everyone he moved there because me, but it was really because of a girl. He and I were both in relationships, but we made sure our relationship between each other stayed strong. He broke up with his girl, I broke up with my guy, and we became inseparable. He went through some serious hardships, and so did I. We grew up. Together, yet separate. I moved back to Dallas, he stayed in Lubbock. I didn’t trust many – I should really say any - of his friends, but after a while, I did finally come around to trust his best friend, Justin Blake Johnson. I hated him at the beginning, I mean, seriously hated him – but he won me over in the end. Maybe it was his charm, but Justin did promised me - up, down, left and right that Chad was ok. I believed him – and I knew Chad was doing right finally. I had always been Chad’s last resort, last call - and I gave it up to Justin, and I’m so glad I did.


Jon and I were putting up pictures around Christmas, and I came across a picture of Justin, Chad and I. We were at my favorite bar in Lubbock – they met me at Blue Light, I guess I was trying to relive my college memories at the time in 2005, but they were both there -- for me.


Justin passed away a year ago today. I'll never forget the phone call Jon got from Mom -- she knows me too well to not give me that news over the phone, and wanted to make sure Jon was with me when I got it. I immediately went into panic mode. How is Chad? Where is he? I need to get to him. NOW. I need to give him a hug. I need to see his face and make sure he's ok. WHY isn't he answering his phone?? My friend Leigh Ann and I left for Lubbock that next afternoon. I didn't know how long I'd be there -- I needed to be by Chad's side and give him a hug. I needed to make sure he was ok. We made it through the week together. Laughing with everybody, crying with everybody. We all got through it together.


Chad is doing better these days. He and his girlfriend, Ashton, are expecting a baby boy in July, and they both are thrilled. They are naming the baby after Justin and my Dad -- Thomas Blake. I absolutely love it.


 I think Justin and the man upstairs played a little part with Chad meeting a good girl and helping him heal. It's good to see a smile and life fill Chad's face and eyes. I missed that spark -- and it's back! I know there isn't a day that goes by that Chad doesn't think about Justin -- I just hope it's with a lighter, healing heart. Justin is resting in peace, and I think Chad is on his way.


That picture remains on our fridge and I get to see Justin and Chad everyday.

One day at a time...

WOW. What a couple of weeks it has been for us. My emotions are bouncing off the walls, and thank GOODNESS I have such a patient and sweet husband to put up with them all.

It just hit me Monday night that I'm not pregnant anymore. My mind was consumed with the dreaded "procedure" (D&C) for a week, then the heavy painkillers and sleep set in. I walked downstairs as Jon was cooking dinner, and just broke down. It's so crazy after 10 weeks of being pregnant, how you change your life and lifestyle and ready your mind that you are going to be a mommy, and then it can all come crashing down in an instant. It's unreal. I seriously think that I'm in a horrible dream, and I'm going to wake up - but then I remember it's all true, and reality sets in.

I have been in a lot of pain since Saturday. Friday I was ok, and my spirits were good. I was looking forward to enjoying a relaxing weekend with my husband before I went back to work. The cramps hit me like a ton of bricks on Saturday morning, and I've been laid up ever since. YUCK.

I still haven't had the courage to talk about what happened with me. Rob called me on Sunday and we discussed it briefly, but then went on to other hot topics of interest. I have surrounded myself with my fabulous husband, my parents, Jon's parents, our brothers and sisters, Mattie McDaddy, and my good friends Amanda, Kristen and Robyn. I can't bring myself to go outside "the circle" I have surrounded myself with. I know that when I'm around these people, I don't have to talk about it and if I do, and I cry, it's ok. I'm terrified of talking about it with people and then just breaking down. I know it's going to happen, but not sure I can handle that right now.

My mom came over tonight just to check on me. She's so great. I always know that that crazy lady is always there for me, no matter what. Sometimes I just need a Mom hug, and I surely got one tonight. Her and Dad were there for me during the procedure, along with Jon of course. But for them to sit and wait 4 long hours in not so comfortable chairs, was above and beyond anything I could have ever asked for. Mom asked if it was ok if she went. She wanted to be there for me. Jon left it totally up to me, and what I wanted. Dad told me that morning he was going to go to support me. I wanted Mom and Dad there not only to support me, but to support Jon. I think he was more excited, if that is even possible, than me that I was pregnant. This is something that we have talked about for so long. He has been so incredibly awesome through this whole process. He has been my rock, my shoulder to cry on, all the while working full days and dealing with this too. I have definitely fallen in love with him all over again. My love for him has grown by leaps and bounds, and I didn't even think that was possible. I know that's super cheesy, but it's totally true.

I want to thank everyone who has sent a facebook message, an email, a text message, or a phone call. It really means alot to me that people take the time out of their busy day to let me know that they are sorry, and they are praying for us. What an awesome feeling to feel so loved. It's overwhelming and very heartwarming.

 A very wise lady told me today I can only take one day at a time. I can't worry about tomorrow and how I will feel. I have to deal with the emotions I am feeling today right now, and not worry about tomorrow and what's going to happen then. I've decided that's how I'm going to get through this. With the help of Jon and our families, we are going to put one foot in front of the other, and take one day at a time - and don't forget to breathe.