Sunday, February 28, 2010

Healing the Heart

We received the sad, sad news on Wednesday that I had a miscarriage. I melted, heart broken into a million pieces. Jon was out of town in Houston for business, and so I had already planned for my mom to go with me to the appointment - thank goodness. I seriously don't know what I would've done had I gone by myself. It's weird how when we are faced with something like this, how you can go into a "mode" and get things taken care of. That's exactly what Mom did. I was a complete basketcase, and there was mom asking all the questions I would've NEVER thought to ask. My Dr - whom I absolutely love - was talking what seemed 90 to nothing, and I couldn't tell you anything she said. Mom, obviously upset as well, took it all in and remembered everything.

Poor Jon, had to be told over the phone through my tears and sobs. He is seriously one of the strongest men I know. I interupted a business meeting, and he had to step out and take my call. We talked for a few minutes, heartbroken as well, and had to go back to business. He did keep in touch with me through out the day through text messages and phone calls, all the while running business meetings and going about his day. That's one of the reasons I married him - taking care of so many things, including me, and exceling at everything on his plate.

Everytime I think about it, it takes my breath away. I got into the habit of thinking about EVERYTHING I ate before I ate it, waking up and not feeling good at all, and now, I feel weird not doing the same things I did a week ago - when I thought I was still pregnant.

I know that God wouldn't want us to have anything less than a perfect child, and right now isn't our time. It's something so hard to grasp, to wrap my mind around, but each day is starting to get better.

I haven't been able to talk on the phone to anyone, but we appreciate every prayer, thought, phone call, message, email, and text from everyone. It really means so much to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Jon and I have been at the lakehouse since Friday afternoon. It's been so nice to relax. To be able to remove myself from Dallas - from the hussle and bussle. I sat on the porch and read my book and watched the water move. I took naps on the couch, and we watched movies all night long - slowly healing our hearts.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Long over due update!

Things have been crazy in the Maxfield household. The holidays came and went and Jon started a new job working from home at the beginning. I absolutely love having him home in the mornings...except for his occasional grumpiness in the mornings. :)

We had a fabulous Christmas and New Years - mostly celebrated at the lakehouse. We absolutely love that place. A home away from home and so quiet and peaceful!

We celebrated my sweet Momma's birthday on Friday night. She made a big deal of Dad's birthday last year - we all went to Lake Tahoe for his 60th. Due to finances, we all couldn't do that this year. I decided it would be fun to throw a surprise birthday party for her at one of her favorite new stompin' grounds - Urban Crust. All of her work buddies showed up as well as a few other loved ones. Mom was feeling a little sorry for herself, and didn't think we were making a big deal about her birthday - but boy was she surprised!! I'm horrible at keeping secrets, but am getting better! :) I can't believe we pulled it off. The look on her face was priceless!

My mom has become one of my best friends over the years. She knows everything I know. We have always been close, but growing up I told her as much as she needed to know - she was and still does ask a dozen questions about EVERYTHING! Course, that's the way mothers are, I guess! :) She and my Dad will celebrate 40 years of marriage this year... WOW. The funny thing is they still act like they are in high school. They both laugh at the same lame jokes they have been telling for years, :) and both head over heels for each other. Jon and I are so lucky to have both parents married and still in love - growing up with that background and knowing what we wanted when we found each other.

I love you Mom...hope you had a terrific birthday! Thank you for your guidance and your love over all these years.